Jonathan's Story

At our 18 week ultra sound, not only did we learn we were having a boy, it was found that I had placenta privia, the placenta was completely covering the cervix. This diagnosis meant that I needed to be careful about lifting anything and generally cautious. We were told that it was unlikely that any negative affects would occur.

On Sunday, May 13, I woke up with the feeling of a gush. Blood was flowing from me like I had never seen before. At the time I didn’t worry, I knew that if I called the doctor he would say to wait and see. The bleeding slowed through out the day and stopped by the time I went to bed so we thought all is well. However, moments after, a large clot passed and blood kept coming. We called the doctor on-call, who said “wait and call me back”. I told him that I already had. His response than was that I was to come in to the hospital. It was about 11:00 pm. We called Tim’s parents to stay with the girls. As we were waiting for them, I continued to bleed heavily. We called 911 because I started to feel light headed and dizzy. The paramedics came and decided to bring me in with lights and sirens because my blood pressure was far to low and my pulse was high. During the ambulance ride I had a real sense of peace that Jonathan was going to be ok.

I was admitted to United Hospital that night. On Monday morning the doctors said that I could probably go home on Tuesday. They said that most likely the bleeding would stop on it’s own. I continued to bleed throughout the day on Monday and by Monday afternoon, the doctors decided that I would stay in the hospital until I delivered. I was 21 weeks pregnant. The doctors hoped that would be three weeks.

After hearing that news, my friend Michele, started getting people signed up to bring meals to my family, do their laundry, and watch the girls. Michele her self, was already watching the girls when they weren’t with Grandma and Grandpa, so Tim could spend time with me at the hospital.

On Tuesday, I started to receive blood transfusions and by afternoon they were getting ready to move to the anti-partum unit, for patients who were medically stable. That was where I expected to spend the next three weeks. The nurse checked my pulse one more time before moving me. It was extremely elevated. She called the doctor, who said that I couldn’t be moved to the other unit, but rather had to go to the ICU.

In the ICU, my nurse was wonderful and a few more weeks pregnant than I was. (I’m sure the outcome of my pregnancy was hard for her.) Tuesday evening, while I was in the ICU, Rick, Kim and Marlene G. and another person who I can't remember came to pray for me and anoint me with oil. Weeks before, we prayed that the pain from my varicose veins would dissipate and it did. I still had a peace about the safety of our baby.

Wednesday morning, I woke and medically appeared to be stabilizing. The nurse told to me think of calm places and visualize peacefulness to help bring down my pulse. Once that came down, I could be moved back up to the anti-partum unit. However, around 11:00am I felt another large clot pass. The parinatel doctors were called. They began to prepare me for surgery, however, I quickly felt labor pains and soon delivered Jonathan Richard. He was stillborn, too small to have the lung development to breath. The doctors continued to focus on me. I remember saying again and again, “do something for him, help my baby.” But the nurse who held my hand, gently and tenderly told me that they couldn’t. He was just too young.

Tim had been at home with the girls on Wednesday morning. He dropped the girls off at Michele’s and was on his way to the hospital when the doctors called him and told him that they were preparing me for surgery. He drove the rest of the way to the hospital, not knowing how I was, if the baby was ok, or what was happening. He ran through the hospital to the ICU. When he arrived in my room, I had delivered our son. I remember looking at him and crying out, “our baby”. He looked down at Jonathan in my arms and cried. Rushing to my side holding me and Jonathan.

I was then taken to surgery for a D&C, to make sure the bleeding would stop. When I woke up in recovery, they sent for Tim. He had been waiting in the ICU, along with his parents, my parents, Melynda, and most of our small group. Another nurse came in, carrying Jonathan. The nurses had dressed him in a small gown, with blue trim. They wrapped him in a blanket. They give him such amazing care. They had cleaned him and taken care of him like any other baby.

The rest of the afternoon blurs together. I was transferred to a post-partum room. The room was filled through out the day with family and friends. It meant so much to me and Tim that they were all there. I held Jonathan all afternoon. I remember, after our friends had left and in the room with us were just our parents and sisters, I knew it was time for the nurses to take Jonathan. Tim agreed. I have never felt agony like I did at that moment. As the nurse walked out with our son, painful sobs escaped the core of my body. Our family cried, feeling our pain, as well the their own at the loss of our son, their grandson and nephew.

Slowing through out the day our family members left. My parents stayed with me while Tim went home to tell the girls about Jonathan. Then he came back to the hospital and my parents spent the night at our house.

On Thursday, I left the hospital with a dozen white roses that a friend had brought us.