I think one thing, that I want most, is for people to remember my son. He's going to be forgotten in this world. I know, most of us are, we're not all Mozart's or George Washington's. But my fear is that when Tim and I are gone from this earth, no one will remember him. Bria, his oldest sister, does remember, but for how long will she? Adriann and Kyla, his next older two sisters, certainly don't remember him.
I've made him a scrapbook, just like my three girls have. They each have one that is much like a traditional baby book, documenting the first year of their lives. His holds the story of my pregnancy, his birth story and the amazing, wonderful pictures that Julie, from NILMDTS took. I've put many of the sympathy cards in there, as well as some that I have gotten more recently. The sermon that Tim shared at his memorial service is in the book. That is his life here. His entire life on earth is in one 12x12 book. I guess the book is my way of keeping his memory.
** I want to share that I wrote the above two paragraphs about 2 weeks ago, but didn't feel it was the right time to post them. Tonight, as I was rereading them, I felt God's comfort, peace, and reassurance as he told me what I have written below**
But Jonathan's life is eternal. We have eternal life with Christ! The joys of his days can not be counted (only joys, no tears in heaven, no sadness!). The bible does say that we will know each other in heaven. I guess that means that not only will Tim and I know him, but others will too. He is not forgotten in heaven.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
You're doing such a great job with this website. Thank you so much for continuing to so openly share your journey. Not only is it a healing tool for you, but also for those who read it. I love how open you've been about having such a strong faith yet struggling during this time. Imagine what that must mean for someone who is going through this and not as far along in their walk with the Lord. You are quite an example.
We love you all!
Shelley
What a precious baby boy. The pictures are absolutely beautiful and you must be so grateful to have them.
I, too, made a scrapbook for our daughter S. I think it's a wonderful idea. I know for me it certainly was a labor of love.
One of my greatest fears is that S will be forgotten. I love the last paragraph you wrote. I hadn't thought about it that way.
(((Hugs)))
How do you get through and still believe that God is good? I am coming from the perspective of only having one living child and wondering if I will ever hold another. I never got to see my first daughter. I guess because I wasn't 20 weeks, they didn't think to ask me. It all happened so fast.. and I regret it to this day. I never got a proper goodbye. I have recently gone through 2 early miscarriages, and I have been wrestling with God. I want to believe Him, but I just can't reconcile the pain... the fact that he has made me to desire motherhood and yet takes our babies away. I am heartbroken. Do you just force yourself to believe He is still good. I just feel like He hates me, that He is causing my barrenness.
Post a Comment